Loss for Words

So yesterday I heard back from the RE's office that our insurance company denied our request for IVF.  Even though it's the only thing that is going to work for us. They denied it due to my husbands varicocele. The doctor said the varicocele is sooo small a surgery is not going to make a difference and in the end we will have to get IVF anyway, so they're just prolonging us having a baby. So after yesterday my doctor was supposed to be putting in a call to the medical director to see if he could get him to approve the denial. I'm hoping for some sort of Easter miracle...after all this is supposed to be one of the most miraculous weekends. Honestly I'm super scared right now...I spent most of yesterday curled up on the couch crying. I just want things to work out for once.  I had asked if I should stop taking my BC and they said not till we have any answer because if I stop taking it, I'll get my period and then if my doctor changes the medical directors mind I'll still have to wait an extra month anyway. I told myself I would wait till Monday or Tuesday to call the doctors office back but I'll be lucky if I last till Monday because it's been all I've been thinking about since they told me they were giving them a hard time on Tuesday.  I'm hoping before I call that they will call me with good news...sigh...the journey continues....