Can It Be?????

 So I had to go to the doctor this morning for my blood work and ultrasound for CD3. I asked them all my questions about the MTHFR and about how that would effect me and effect a baby and she answered all of them and she explained to me the only real risk is the miscarriage and thats why they put me on the extra folic acid to prevent that. So they did the sono this morning and i have a cyst on my right ovary and they just need that to go away but they are hoping the birth control they put me on will do the trick.  so after all was said and done i went into the office and and they handed me a huge folder full of info and things i need to do and told me everything else looked good, so i can officially start my IVF process today!!!! :) so i start my first medicine today...the birth control...and now we're on our way!!!. Earlier when I got into work and the woman said heather you're like glowing.  John and I couldnt stop grinning the whole car ride.  I'm just so excited to have everything planned out and officially start!!!

The Results Are In

(Deep breath)....Sorry it took me some time to write, I think I was just absoribing everying the past day or so.  So I went back to the RE on Tuesday and got all of our blood results back.  My husbands blood work all came back fine. Then he got to me.  Well my CD 21 bloods confirmed that I'm not ovulating on my own.  He said I may once in a while, but I'm not all the time.  Then he told me I have a blood clotting issue.  I have something called MTHFR (I know...when I looked at it I thought the same thing).  It's a gene mutation that causes my blood to clot at a higher rate. So he put me on 4 more mg of folic acid a day, so I'm taking 5 mg total with my prenatals.  Something interesting he also told me was that when I was little I got my measels mumps and rubella shot, either it didn't work or somehow the rubella part is not longer in my body.  He said I needed to get that shot done before I could get pregnant.  He also said within two months of getting that, I wasn't allowed to conceive.  My heart sank to the ground when he said that. I know two months isn't a long time but in ttc world it seems like forever. Although we started discussing our next steps and he said since I have already done IUI and clomid he thinks the best bet for us would be IVF with ICSI due to dh's morphology. Which essesntially is they actually insert the sperm into the egg. He said due to my PCOS we would do a long protocol of medicine and realistically since we're doing that, getting the shot is only pushing us back a few weeks.  He also told me losing a little weight would be a good idea to get a better handle on my PCOS. So he told me to call when I got my period and we would see if we could start medication this month or the following cycle.

So I headed home and when dh got there I was trying to explain everything to him.  He had questions about MTHFR that I didn't have answers for so we looked it up online.  WORST IDEA EVER!!! The first thing that pops up is MTHFR and pregnancy.  In it it says that woman with MTHFR are more like to miscarry and are more likely to give their child chromosonal deformities like down syndrome.  Well with that the flood gates opened and I was sobbing in his lap.   My main thing was if thats the case that I could give our child chromosonal deformities like that, could I really do that to a child??  But in the same token I felt like my doctor would have brought it up if it was that great of a chance.

The next morning I woke up with AF in full force.  So I called the doctors office and scheduled a sonogram and blood work for tomorrow. I asked them about what I found online and I spoke to the nurse and she said yes, that is a possibility but thats why the doctor but me on more folic acid to reduce to risk greatly.  That made me feel a little better.  I called my primary doctor to schedule getting my Rubella shot.  I told her about the MTHFR and she told me yes, you will have to be on blood thinners when you get pregnant.  Now, I was very confused about that because my RE told me on Tuesday night that they wouldn't put me on blood thinners. Soooo thats something I will have to address when I got to my RE tomorrow.

I also spoke to the RE's office about how much this was all going to cost.  Our insurance covers 3 IVF in your lifetime and they cover 75% of it.  So they told us, our total due would come out to about  $2000 per cycle.  Which in the scheme of things isn't that bad...but it doesn't include any medications.  She also told us it all has to be approved by the insurance first.  I asked my Mom about that because she deals with health insurance stuff at work all the time and she told me that is totally normal.  I can't imagine why they wouldn't cover it.  The woman told me she was going to put the paperwork in yesterday and we should know within 2 days.  So I'm hoping we have answers on that and whether or not we're starting meds or not this cycle by Monday.

So at the moment, I think we'll be looking at a late May/late June IVF....let's hope this is the first step to my success story :)

Today's the Day

Well, today is the day I go back to the RE.  Sadly, DH is working but my Mom is going to accompany me...i figured 2 heads and 2 more ears were better then just mine.  I have to say, I am beyond anxious right now.  I just want 5:30 to be here so I can leave work and go to the doctor. I have 6 more hours and they seem forever away. I really just want some answers. The doctor had ordered a crazy amount of blood in the last month and I know that he did genetics testing but I'm not really sure about too much else.  So I am kind of nervous of how things are going to come back and what they are going to say.  Life in general for us lately has been just one thing after another happening and I want it to stop here. I want to get out bloodwork back and even if everything isn't perfect, I want to be able to move forward.  I want a game plan. I would love for him to say tonight,  " Hey, lets get on that IVF journey."  That's what I'm praying for.  I will update you all as soon as I get home tonight!!!

A ball of nerves...

Well that pretty much sums up what I am right now. I have my appt with the RE tomorrow and I am soooo nervous.  I just want all of our blood results to come back good and for our doctor to let us get rolling on the ball for IVF.  I had gotten this appt like 2 weeks ago and I feel like time has been dragging.  I'm so anxious, I have no idea how I'm going to get through a full day of work today and tomorrow. I just want some answers!!! Not knowing is one of the worst things for me. So depending on how things go, I will let you guys know either tomorrow night or Wednesday morning.  Fingers crossed!!!

I Need a Hobby...

So I'm a member on babyandbump.com and I love being on there.  There are so many other woman who are struggling and it's nice to see I'm not alone.  But there are other times when there are a bunch of people who all at once get BFPs and while trust me I am beyond happy for them it makes me a little sad too that its not me.  I really need to pick up a hobby of some sort so I'm not constantly thinking about ttc. I mean I know I still will but I need something to keep me a little busier. Only 5 more days till my apt with the RE. Fingers crossed that all of our bloodwork came back good and I can be on my way to becomming a Mommy :)

Ok, let me start from the beginning....

Well from anyone who read my info to the right, here's a real quick repeat. My name is Heather, I'm 27 years old, and my husband and I are struggling to conceive our first little one.  It's funny back when I was a teenager and even in my early 20's I was pretty sure if a guy looked at me in a sexual manner, I was probably going to get pregnant.  Little did I know the journey I was going to end up on.  Back in 2008, I was diagnosed with PCOS.  From that moment forward I was always told it would be hard for me to conceive.  But even up until we started trying to have a baby, I don't think I ever realized how hard it would really be.  My doctor had said when we were ready to try to conceive to come see him...so thats what we did.  Back in September we went to my OBGYN and said ok doc, we're ready to have a baby.  If it was only that simple.  My doctor started me  on clomid due to my PCOS. Even though they said it was going to be difficult, I'm not going to lie in the next 28 days every little poke and pang I had clearly had to  mean I was pregnant...I wasn't. I took clomid in September, October, and November...still no baby. I had driven myself to near insanity every month thinking everything was a pregnancy symptom and was totally crushed when AF showed her face. In November my doctor told me he wanted my husband to go for a SA. Knowing that I was the issue I was never too worried.  That is until we got the results back.  His numbers were awesome, his motility was ok, but his morphology was the killer.  According to the report my husband only had 5% normal sperm that would be able to fertilize my eggs. I was crushed....did we really have another issue to worry about?? I look around seeing people getting pregnant left and right...many who don't want babies or deserve them for that matter and we're two genuinely good people who are going to have to struggle.  It started to make me really bitter. I continued to take clomid in December, January, and February.  My doctor had suggested because of my husbands morphology we should consider doing IUI's.  My husband had gotten a second SA done and his morphology had dropped down to 2%. So with that, we decided to start IUI. January 20th of this year was our first IUI.  Just like every other month I had convinced myself I was pregnant and again, I wasn't. I asked my doctor a million questions every visit and one of my main questions was to insure I was ovulating. He told me, if you're getting your period, you're ovulating. And then told me Heather, it's not you, it's your husbands morphology. Which was so frustrating because for so long I was told it was going to be me but with me there are things we could have done to control it....his morphology was out of my hands. My doctor told me at our last visit that we really wouldn't do too many IUI's and he thought we should go to an RE.
On to IUI number two......  February 15th, we did our second IUI. I had 5 mature follicles. He told me if you don't get pregnant this time then we should see an RE. I had already made a consultation just in case.  So one February 28th, my hubby and I headed to the  RE.  He was amazing!!! He was so attentive and made me feel like he genuinely cared about us having a baby. I had a typed out page of questions (yes, I'm a little anal) and he answered everyone. I also told him my doctor said if I was getting my period, I was ovulating.  His eyes got huge and he told me that is SOOOO not true (just like I had thought).  He told me the 2 cycles I did IUI's he knows I ovulated because of the Ovidril shots I took but he couldn't guarantee I had all of the other months we were trying to conceive. He also said he thought IVF would be our only way to go due to my husbands morphology.  He sent us off on our way with lists of bloodwork to get done from progesterone to genetics testing.  My husband went for his blood work and they took like 3 viles....I went and they took 23!!! Fair?? I think not. He also told us that we should take this month off from ttc.  So here I am 21days into my cycle..(im)patiently waiting. I went for my CD 21 bloods this morning which will tell us if I am ovulating or not.  We're heading back to the RE this Tuesday (3/27) to get all of our blood work from the past month back.  Hopefully from there we can start a plan for IVF and get this show on the road.  I promise all of my blogs won't be this long...I just had to fit in 7 months into a really short time. I'm hoping with this blog some woman can relate to my issues, others can see into what struggling to ttc is like, and hopefully I can end up with a success story!!!